marriage test

I have determined the true test of a marriage - docking a boat together. Unlike parking a car docking has many more challenges involved including wind, dock size, dock height (for jumping off and knowing where to place those fenders), currents, and the most difficult part - usually multiple people involved.

When Sam and I had our first boats they were small enough and light enough that he had to get us close enough to the dock for me to jump off with the lines and then I could pull the boat in or hold it until he could jump off too and then we could both pull it in. Sometimes Sam wanted me to jump off much sooner and further away from the dock than I chose but or the most part it worked pretty well.

There were plenty of misunderstandings and mishaps along the way - the time I fell off the side the Maxum being one of the biggest. Somehow we weren't on the same page or even on the same boat it turns out when I ended up in the sound. It wouldn't be quite so bad but Sam was late for a sailboat race and he was a bit more concerned about getting to his race then waiting to see if I was going to dry out anytime soon (yes this is my version but then when you are writing the story you get to use your version).

Note to all spouses - even if you are late to a very important race checking to see if your wife is all right and finding her some dry clothes might be a much better choice than being the first boat to cross the starting line.

So after 14 years of boating together we thought we had this docking thing mostly down and really preferred our guests didn't get in the way. At least we had it down until we got our new boat. First time we try docking together Sam gets us close to the dock and I jump off and start to try and pull it in and got a big surprise - I couldn't manhandle this boat. Turns out 12000 pounds (plus about 3000 pounds worth of gear and supplies) doesn't get pulled into the dock by one person. Guess we had to come up with a new plan.

Luckily this was the only upside to our paint color being wrong since we now had all summer to get it figured out and then we could start with fresh paint this boating season. Now we actually had to communicate with each other before we got to the dock and have a plan as to what we both needed to do.

There have been plenty of tense moments when we both had entirely different ideas of what should be happening and plenty of blame for the other person since they were clearly at fault. After all if Sam would have gotten us closer to the dock, or not quite so close, or I would done better with the long jump it would have been a piece of cake and we wouldn't have rammed into the dock or almost taken out the boat next to us. One can always hope there will be assistance at the dock but that is a big risk - after all you are trusting someone you have never met and don't know if they have ever even docked a boat to help bring your boat into the slip. This can be much worse than dealing with the known quantity on board - at least then both your names are on the insurance card.

It has been the true test of our relationship even more so than being in the 2 person kayak together. Though the 2 person kayak was a must easier solution - from here on out we both get our own kayak.

It turns out we have gotten much better though there still can be quite a bit of yelling from both parties, well ok mainly me, but we almost have it figured out. Well at least until it is gusting 20+ and boat next to us only left us an extra 6". I do think this docking thing is an excellent test of your marriage though my mom probably really has it figured out since she lets my dad handle all of it. It then becomes entirely his responsibility and if anything should go wrong his fault as well. Of course they have been married for 40 years now so they might have a jump on us on how this docking thing should really be done.