jump aboard

I have come to the realization Sam must think I was some sort of long jump champion in high school and I still have this ability. I am not sure where he ever came up with this but in his mind I can leap from a dock onto our boat in a single bound from yards away. No matter how much he thinks or wishes this it simply isn't true.

I can't jump very far and I prefer to not jump even shorter distances than I probably could just to be on the dry side. Sam on the other hand seems to think I can somehow leap from a dock onto our boat when they aren't even in the same zip code.

This weekend was no different and reinforced once again Sam's distorted view of my leaping ability. We were docked via side tie between slips and as we started to untie Sam wanted to push out the stern since the wind was blowing us into the dock. While this was all well and good he wanted me to leap aboard the bow from the dock and then somehow getting myself over the railing. While I nicely declined he kept pushing and said the boat was leaving. So I clambered aboard in a most ungraceful fashion and somehow kept myself dry.

On board after I caught my breath I once again reminded him that while he can climb over the rails it doesn't work quite as easily for someone 7 inches shorter. He blamed it all on my jeans and insisted that it all went smoothly - I asked if he had seen my clinging for dear life hoping that someone would give me a boost up but he seemed to have missed that part.

Just a few hours after this conversation we were leaving the fuel dock in pretty windy conditions and had some unneeded assistance from the fuel attendant. Instead of untying the midship line first as I requested he untied the stern and allowed the boat to drift out while I was untying the bow. Sam started vigorously encouraging me to jump aboard but I declined and instead started retying the boat while trying to remain polite to the fuel attendant. I insisted that we redo this and I would get on board when the boat was actually in near the dock.

Sam came back to the dock - well I actually pulled him back in - and we tried again with me just stepping aboard instead of trying for a new long jump record. Once again I asked him why he thought I could somehow jump that far and he tried to say it wasn't that far but he wasn't the one on the dock looking across the water towards a rapidly drifting boat. At least this time there was someone else involved so we could blame the person "helping" and remember why we prefer to manage the lines ourselves.

Maybe I should be flattered that he has this much confidence in my athletic abilities but I am not. If it comes down to him leaving by himself or me taking a chance on an unexpected swim in the very chilly sound he is on his own. Maybe this is his way of seeing just how far I am willing to jump but by now you would think hes knows the answer is "not far". Or maybe it is that from behind the wheel his distance vision is distorted and docks seem much closer than they are. Once again it looks like the only way to overcome this one is to be the skipper and not the first mate. Somehow it always comes down to this - I just need to be the skipper.